Chasing Moments
by TylerRing
Summary: Set after the events of the gang's Spring Break in Florida. Dawson has ditched his meeting in NY, only to find Joey with Charlie. He decides he's finally had enough. (Flashbacks in italics - Please R&R)
1. Agony

**Chapter 1 - Agony  
  
**The rising sun set the waves alight.  
  
Bright crimson, edged with gold, danced across the surface of the ocean, blinding the sky. Dawson Leery stood on the shore, bare feet grounded in the cold sand, letting the waves lap across his legs. There are few sights, if any, that are more moving than a perfect Florida sunrise. But, as he stood there, Dawson barely noticed it.

The events of the last 48 hours kept replaying themselves over and over in his head, like a bad movie that just wouldn't end. Again, he went over his decision to meet an agent in New York, the only one who'd answered their letters and calls after watching the movie. To Dawson and Oliver, his partner, it was the lifeline they'd forgotten to hope for.

Then Joey and the others had decided to go to Florida for spring break, without him. Once more, Dawson heard himself relent to Oliver's goading on the long drive. He gave in and told him their story. The tale of Dawson and Joey, the good times and bad, how it all came down to her. Oliver was convinced they he had to postpone the meeting and rush down to Florida to tell Joey how much he still loved her.

Or maybe, he just wanted to be convinced.

Maybe, he was searching for an excuse to do what he'd done – get his heart broken all over again. He could not shake his earlier conversation with Pacey.

-----  
  
_"You gotta give this thing up," Pacey told him, "That thing that you guys do to each other – the heroes of bad timing. You've got to give that up, its over." _

_"No its not." _

_"Aw, come on Dawson, how many times are you gonna do this to yourself? How many times are you gonna keep on coming back?" _

_"Until there's nothing left to come back for, I guess..."_

_-----  
  
_Dawson sighed, trying to lose himself in the crisp ocean breeze. Pacey was right. He knew it. He had to stop.

-----  
  
_"Joey, it hurts to be around you. If I see you, even from across a room it brings back a thousand memories. As long as I can remember everything has always come back to you, and no matter what was happening between us the thought of you was at least a constant comfort but... I can't go back. It just hurts..."_

_-----  
  
_"I can't go back," he said aloud, "It just hurts..."  
  
"What does?"

The voice yanked him from his thoughts, and he turned around. Oliver strode up to him.

"This hurts," said Dawson.

"You talked to her?"

"No."

"Then what's going on?"

For a second Dawson didn't answer, instead letting his eyes trace the horison.

"She spent the night with Charlie," he said, eventually.

"Jesus!" Oliver cursed, "You guys just can't catch a break, can you?"

"Doesn't seem like it," Dawson admitted, "But maybe, maybe that's the way it's supposed to be, you know. Maybe coming down here... Finding out about this – was a good thing. Maybe I can finally get some closure."

"Uh huh, yeah," Oliver nodded, "But let me ask you a question. During all your years together, all your little melodramas; how many times have you told yourself those exact words?"

"About a million."

"That's what I thought. So, what makes you think it'll be true this time?"

"I don't know," Dawson shrugged, "I guess I just feel like its finally too much. I thought, after Pacey, I could handle anything but..." he trailed off.

"Pacey?"

Dawson looked at him, puzzled.

"Didn't I tell you that story?"

"No."

"Oh, okay then..."

-----  
  
_"Last year, you had the opportunity to go to Paris and study, and because of me you didn't." _

_"Dawson, that wasn't your fault." _

_"Yes, it was my fault Joey. I should have made you go. But I was selfish. I wanted you to stay here with me, and I refuse to make that mistake again." _

_"Well, Dawson, I mean... What if it's my choice? What if I want to stay?" _

_"Joey c'mon. Even I can see it. Pacey is this year's Paris, and this time you have to go. You have to see for yourself, alright? I can stand here and tell you it's a colossal mistake, and that all roads lead back to me, but that's not gonna make any bit of difference. Words and speeches sound great, but, they don't add up to anything. All that matters right now, is what you want." _

_"I don't know what I want, Dawson." _

_"Yes you do! You want him! You want him, like I want you; you love him, like I love you the only difference is, he loves you back the same way. And you deserve that, okay? And I'm not gonna be the one who stands in the way of you getting that. You're free, you can do whatever you want." _

_"But Dawson, I want us to still be friends... I want to know that you don't hate me..." _

_"__They're just words, Joey, they're just words. Coz after you're done dispensing your pleasantries here, you're gonna turn around, and you're gonna walk away from me, aren't you?" _

_"I have to. Otherwise, I'll never know."_

_-----  
_  
"And she did," Dawson looked at Oliver, and grinned, "Are you crying again?"

"Damn you man!" Oliver looked away, "Damn you and your tragic stories. Geez! Don't you guys have any happy memories? I'm starting to wonder what you see in each other."

"Nah," Dawson began to walk along the beach, "We had good times. Its just, its just hard to remember them sometimes, that's all."

"Where to from here?"

"I have no idea."

"I know."

"What?"

"For once in your all-too self-aware life, you should act the Neanderthal."

"What are you talking about?"

"Go over there. Drag that poor excuse for a hair gel commercial out by his perfect mop – beat the hell out of him – then declare your undying love for Joey."

Dawson stopped, threw back his head and laughed.

"You've got to be kidding," he said, "I'm not gonna beat the hell out of Charlie."

"Okay granted. He may get in a few shots here and there, but you can win it by TKO, I know it."

"Even if I did, it wouldn't solve anything."

"No, but it'll make you feel better."

"True."

They carried on walking. The beach was waking up. Guys were surfing, groups and couples were already lazing about. Oliver rested his hand on Dawson's shoulder.

"Listen man, I'm sorry," he said, "I'm the one who dragged you down here. I'm the reason you're feeling like this."

"No worries man," Dawson assured him, "Like I said, maybe it's a good thing."

"Thanks. Hey, wanna grab some breakfast?"

"Nah. I think I'll stay out here for a while. You go ahead, I'll catch up with you later."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Oliver walked away, leaving Dawson alone with his thoughts.


	2. Reality

**Chapter 2 - Reality  
  
**_"You know what it is, Joey? I've spent the last few months of my existence trying to figure out, how to be without you. I tried acting like it doesn't hurt, pretending I don't care. I guess, I felt like if I acted like I was over you... I would be. And the truth is, most of the time all I wanna do is crawl into my room with my best friend, shut the blinds, and just pour my heart out to her." _

_"Dawson, I don't think you realise its been just as difficult for me. Its been tearing me apart too. I know we'll always be connected. I know our lives are destined to be intertwined, but..." _

_"We have to move on." _

_"Yeah." _

_"Little bit today... Little more tomorrow..."_

_-----_

_  
_Pacey sat on a chair on the porch, sipping his coffee. Joey finally emerged from the tent she and Charlie had set up in the den. She smiled and waved at him as she went upstairs to get showered and changed. He smiled and waved back. But inside he felt sick.

"God!" Pacey cursed himself, "How could I be such an idiot?"

-----  
  
_"So," Pacey asked her, inclining his head toward Charlie, "Do you actually follow your own advice, or do I have to dispense it for you?" _

_"Him?" Joey blushed, "No. That's different. I don't even like him." _

_"No of course not. The blushing, the flirting, the laughing, the singing..." _

_"Okay. Maybe I like him a little. But just in that, stupid, fun way. Its not like I can ever see us having a serious future." _

_"Who's talkin' about a serious future? I'm talkin' about right now!" _

_"__Pacey, what's the point?" _

_"Uh! The point is, he came all the way down here to see you, and, he called me, a rather intimidating ex-boyfriend to find out where you were. That takes guts." _

_"Or, he could just be an idiot." _

_"He could be, but why don't you go find out?" _

_She grinned, _

_"Okay."_

_-----  
  
_He didn't regret telling Dawson that Joey had been with Charlie, the man had a right to know. But that look in Dawson's eyes as the words hit home. That look. How many times had he seen that look of utter despair on his friend's face? Like a dream had died.

That Dawson and Joey were twin souls – Pacey had no doubt. He'd watched that special bond build between them his whole life and, if anything, he felt their pain as much as they did. He'd been right there as they tried over and over again to make that perfect love real, and fail every time.

"A pair of star-cross'd lovers, take their life..." he muttered bitterly.

He turned and headed down the steps to where Dawson stood, aimlessly watching the tide roll out.

"Dawson," he called as he got near, "Hey Dawson! Can I talk to you for a second?"

Dawson didn't turn around, "You said what you had to say, Pace, and I appreciate it," he said, "You were right."

"Look, there is no right or wrong here, Dawson," said Pacey, "I know you're the idealist, and I most definitely am the cynic but that's just who we turned out to be. I admire the man you've become Dawson. I've looked up to you my whole life, and I've always wished I could see the world through your eyes, even if its just for one day. And you know what it is that I admire about you, Dawson?"

"What?"

"Its not your belief in fate, or dreams, or true love," said Pacey, "Because believe it or not, I believe in those things too."

"Then what is it?"

"You always do the right thing," he explained, "That time when my boat went down. Even though you and I were so far from being best friends at the time, you still went out in that storm and risked your life to save me."

"Are you gonna arrive at a point anytime soon?" asked Dawson, "Or are you just showering me with compliments to make me feel better?"

"My point is, I came out here to ask if you're gonna do the right thing this time?"

"What is the right thing, Pace?" he asked, "Letting her go?"

"That's it exactly, yes!"

"You know, that's funny," said Dawson, "Because all my life I believed that chasing the one you love, and fighting for that love, was the right thing to do."

"No Dawson, allowing her to be happy is the right thing to do."

Suddenly, Dawson's anger flared, and he swung on Pacey.

"You know what?! I am so goddamn sick of that!" he stormed, "How many times can I just step aside and watch her walk away? She fell for Jack – I let her go! She fell in love with you – I let her go! And, God, it killed me every time, Pace! Every time! Now you're asking me to do it again! For Charlie?"

"At least give the guy a chance."

"A chance?!"

"Hey! I don't trust him either, okay? But Joey seems to like him and that's what matters."

"Dawson! Dawson is that you?"

They both turned to see Joey hurrying toward them, her face lit in a radiant smile. Dawson's breath caught, violently, and a long-ago image of her flashed into his mind.

-----  
  
_Their first date. _

_She was never more beautiful to him than she was that night. _

_He could still picture her so clearly as she stepped out onto her porch. She couldn't keep the grin off her face, and tucked her hair behind her ear in that self-conscious way he loved so much. He bent down, and plucked a single flower from beside the path. _

_"Its my first official act as your date," he said, stepping up to her and holding it out, "I figured chocolates... Diamonds... Convertibles... But, eventually I, settled for, foliage." _

_She took the flower and smiled at him, pure adoration in her eyes. _

_"Foliage is good."_

_-----  
  
_It was a million years ago now.

"Dawson, what are you doing here?" her smile was warm.

She seemed puzzled, but genuinely happy to see him. His insides tightened but he forced a smile.

"Oliver," he told her.

"Oliver?" she cocked an eyebrow, "What's he done now?"

"Its not so much what he did as what he said, really," Dawson explained, "He pretty much expressed the view that it was insanely stupid of us to be heading toward a meeting that could easily be rescheduled; when we could be spending spring break in Florida. On the beach, drinking beer, chasing girls. It was the, girl part, that convinced me."

She gave an hysterical giggle and hugged him fiercely.

"That's terrific! I'm so glad you're here."

"Yeah,' he whispered, hugging her close, "Me too."


	3. Pretense

**Chapter 3 - Pretense**  
  
Jen Lindley shuffled down the stairs in her slippers and skulked into the kitchen. She was still pretty wrung out from the bout of flu that had hit her, but at least her sinuses had cleared up and her headache was gone.

She pulled a mug down from the shelf and filled it with hot coffee from the pot. Despite herself, thanking God for small mercies. She glanced out the window, noting how quickly the beach was filling up. It was another perfect day and there wasn't a cloud in sight.

Taking a long draught of coffee into her mouth, she turned toward the table, then spat it out in a violent burst. She dropped the mug, shattering it.

"Hi," Oliver greeted her, calmly sipping from his own mug. Her eyes were wide in shock, and her heart was going a mile a minute.

"Wh... Wh... Wh... Wh... What are you doing here?"

Oliver grinned.

"Dawson was boring me to death so I ditched him first chance I got," he said, "Hitched a lift with the first truck heading south and all was hunky- dory until I learned that the 300lb truck driver was actually a performing transvestite who liked to be called Bernice on the weekend," he took a breath, "Needless to say I bailed out of that faster than you could say Ted Bundy. So I jumped into a station wagon piloted by a 60-year-old nun with a severe drinking problem. But, I figured the alcoholic nun was the lesser of the two evils so I stuck it out, driving through the night, just to come and see you."

All she could do was stare at him, mouth agape. His grin widened.

"Dawson and I decided to hell with the meeting, let's go to Florida," he said, finally.

"You scared the crap out of me, you know that?"

"Yeah, I got that impression," he replied, "Sorry. Didn't mean to. Just havin' some coffee."

Jen exhaled, trying to calm herself through sheer force of will.

"So," he flashed her a wolfish grin, "You miss me?"

-----  
  
Pacey pushed open the door and stepped into the bedroom, careful to close it softly. Audrey was sprawled on her side, her head cupped in the crook of her arm and her long, golden hair rippled out like a halo. Wearily, he sat down on the bed next to her, sighing and running a hand down his face. Audrey woke up, then saw him and purred.

"Morning, my darling boyfriend." She ran her hand up his back, and rubbed his shoulders. "What's the matter," she asked, "You're all tensed."

Pacey sighed again.

"Dawson's here," he told her, "He ditched his meeting to come down and see Joey."

Suddenly, Audrey was wide-awake.

"What? Why?"

"The same age-old reason," said Pacey, flopping down beside her, "He's just a natural glutton for punishment."

"So has he seen her? Have they talked?'

"They're on the beach right now. God only knows how that conversation's developing."

"Well, there's nothing we can do until they come to us."

"Yeah, you're right," then, he leaned over and kissed her, locking his lips to hers, "Do you know you grow even more beautiful every morning?"

"Do you know you grow more charming every morning?"

"Well, yes I do, actually," Pacey grinned, "It's a gift."

"Hmm, more cocky too."

He grunted, then laughed and dove on top of her.

"C'mere gorgeous..."

-----  
  
_"Give me one good reason why I should stay." _

_He couldn't answer. _

_"Come on, Dawson. Give me one non-analytical, of the top of your head reason, why I should stay." _

_Still, he said nothing. _

_She sighed. _

_"Goodbye Dawson."_

_-----  
  
_"So this guy comes strolling up to the house. We all recognised him, but only in that, vaguely familiar way, you know?"

"So," said Dawson, "Who was it?"

"Chris Hartford."

"Chris Hartford," Dawson stalled their stroll down the beach, "Up-and- coming poster boy who can't seem to open his mouth properly when he talks?"

"The one and only," there was bemused smile on Joey's face, "Turns out he's Audrey's old boyfriend from high school."

"Ooh, how'd Pacey handle that?"

"Not so well at first, but he got it together eventually. Anyway, Chris invited us to an M2M concert down the beach."

They turned when they came to the path leading to the house, and headed towards it.

"Sounds like you're having a blast," he said.

"I am, I really am," she said, "And now you show up. Its like, the world's most perfect vacation."

He smiled, and opened the door for her. They went through into the kitchen.

"Hey guys," Jen greeted them, standing and giving Dawson a hug, "Dawson! Its so awesome that you came."

"Couldn't bear to be parted from you, Jen."

Pacey and Audrey came down the stairs and joined them.

"Dawson! Oliver!" Audrey hugged them both, "Welcome to the Liddel's little slice of paradise."

"Good to see you, Audrey," said Dawson.

Just then, Charlie made an appearance, and all eyes swiveled to fix on him.

"Hey, everybody," he waved a hand, but his eyes locked immediately on Dawson.

Joey went up to him, and tugged his arm playfully.

"Dawson and Oliver decided to join us," she told him, "Isn't that great?"

Pacey and Oliver shot looks at Dawson, who just shrugged.

"Yeah," muttered Charlie, "Great."

-----  
  
"You know what?" Pacey began, "I think they really need to rethink the Florida state motto. I think it should say: "Welcome to Florida. Land of sunshine, palm trees, and the World's Worst Waiters!"

Dawson chuckled, "Calm down, Pace."

They were lounging about at a trendy beachfront cafe' after a strenuous day of sun tanning and volleyball, having sundowners.

"No, seriously," Pacey persisted, "I ordered a Bud. A Bud! B-U-D., its not that hard. Three letters, two syllables. I mean, for goodness sake, he remembered Jen's Long Island Ice Tea, but he can't bring me America's favourite beer?"

"Well,' said Jen, "That's because I'm a woman. He's a male waiter - I'm a woman. If I asked him for Hagendasch with chocolate sprinkles, no nuts, but pecan flavouring at the core he'll remember every detail."

Audrey frowned, "I don't know about that. He might forget the pecan. But only because you said the word 'nuts' just before that."

They laughed, but Pacey scowled. Eventually, the waiter brought him a Bud, which he accepted grudgingly.

"Seriously though," Jack interjected, "How cool is this? Look at where we are! We're young, on spring break, living in a gorgeous beach house. If these aren't the golden years then I don't think I'll handle them when they come."

Pacey, Dawson, Oliver and Charlie picked up their drinks and saluted him.

"Amen, brother!"

"What are we doing tonight?" asked Joey.

"Well..." Audrey played with her straw, looking guilty.

"What?" asked Pacey, apprehensive.

"There's a club not to far from here, its called 'Johns'. I always wanted to go, but never had anyone to go with, so..."

"So?"

"So, its sort of a girl club."

"What do you mean, a girl club?"

"I mean they have male strippers there, and if you guys really, really love us then you'll keep each other company tonight and let us girls go drool over the hunks."

"A guy's night out?" Dawson smirked.

He looked at Pacey.

Pacey looked at Oliver.

Oliver looked at Charlie.

Charlie looked at Jack.

Jack frowned and put a hand to his chest.

"Um, don't I go with the girls?"

"No!"

"But guys, male strippers..."

"No!"

"I think it's a great idea," said Dawson, "Let's give each other a break for one night."


	4. Challenge

**Chapter 4 - Challenge  
  
**The boys strolled down the boardwalk. Every two steps a pretty girl made them crane their necks.

"Is it just me?" asked Pacey, "Or there too many fine lookin' women out here?"

"There's such a thing as too many?" asked Charlie.

"Fine lookin' men too," Jack pointed out.

"Agreed," said Oliver.

They all stopped and looked at him.

"That sounded gay didn't it?"

"Where are we going," asked Dawson.

"I thought you knew," said Pacey.

"How would I know? I've been here half a day."

"Why don't we just hit the first place that appeals to us?" Oliver suggested.

"Best plan we got," said Charlie.

"What about over there?" Dawson pointed to a pool bar across the street.

"It'll do," said Pacey.

-----  
  
The bartender slid two beers over to Pacey and Dawson.

"Mind telling me what you and Joey talked about this morning?" asked Pacey.

"I didn't tell her, if that's what you're asking," said Dawson, "I just said that Oliver and I decided that a Florida road trip would be the smarter choice."

"So what now?"

"I don't know, Pace. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I feel... lost."

"Just give it some time, man."

"That's not the answer, Pace."

"What do you mean?"

"That's what I always do, give it time," said Dawson, "I get all tangled up in this dream of the two of us. I put myself out there. Open myself up. Everytime hoping against hope that this... This could be real, you know? That for the first time, fate will be kind enough to give us a shot. But it never happens. I break my heart every time. Then I give it some time and it just happens all over again."

"What are you saying?"

"I can't do it anymore. You were right. I can't keep coming back to her. I just can't. One of these days it'll kill me."

"So what's the answer? What? Are you gonna give up any hope of ever being with her? How are you even going to do that?"

"Go to New York."

"What?"

"Or at least get out of Boston. There are plenty of film schools out there."

"Dawson, have you forgotten that last year you were virtually on a plane to LA, and for Joey you gave that up?"

"I know, I know. It was my choice. I thought being around her would be enough, but its not. Ok? Its worse. I can't even look at her without burning to stroke her face. Without wanting to kiss her, and beg her to be mine until the stars die..."

-----  
  
_"Okay, well then tell me one thing you know." _

_"I know I wanted you there. At the end of the day, when I got back to my room, I wanted you there." _

_"Why?" _

_"I don't know why. I don't know what I meant. All I know, is that I wanted you there." _

_"Jo, maybe that's the ending we're supposed to have. Maybe every other, attraction we feel toward each other is just fear, of moving on and growing up." _

_"Is that what you really think?" _

_"I don't know. But I do know that if I get on this plane, I'm never gonna find out. Alright? 'Coz we're gonna move on, we're gonna grow up and four years from now we're gonna wake up and we're gonna be complete strangers to each other. And the only thing that I know for sure, is that I don't want that to happen. Do you?" _

_"No."_

_-----  
  
_"_Whoo! Yeah!_"

The club was thronged with hollerin' women. Five dancers, replicas of Michaelangelo's 'David', strutted their stuff on the stage. Letting it all hang out, so to speak.

Audrey, Joey and Jen were near the front of the crowd, craning their necks to look up at the dancers. Suddenly, Audrey leapt on the stage. She bent and took one of the performer's thongs in her teeth and drew it slowly down. The crowd went nuts.

"Audrey! Get down from there!" Joey scolded her.

"She's out of her pretty blonde head," Jen laughed, "Whoo! Go Audrey!"

Joey leaned in close to her, "I'm gonna go touch up before anyone realises I'm with her."

"Wait a sec, I'll come with you."

They pushed through the crowd and entered the restroom. They stood side by side at the basins, looking at each other in the mirror.

"So, what are you gonna do?" asked Jen, flipping open a compact.

"About what?"

"About Dawson. About him turning around and coming all the way down here to see you."

"He didn't come here to see me. He came down here to be with all of us."

"Joey, please, you're a lotta things, but you're not stupid. A little naïve maybe, but not stupid."

"Its not gonna happen ok? Remember, I wanted to get back together and he didn't. Nothing's changed."

"Dawson changed," Jen insisted, "He was going through a lot back then, with his dad and everything, and, well, he came to me because I was safer. But he never really wanted me. He wanted you."

"We both agreed we wouldn't try again."

"But, aren't you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Well, you guys are soulmates, right?"

"I like to think so, yes."

"Dawson and Joey, the eternal lovers."

"Jen, where is this going?"

"If you're soulmates then why are you both so damned scared? You survived everything life ever threw at you. The love you guys share survived me. It survived Pacey. It even beat death, Joey."

"I know it did."

"But what if it doesn't always survive, Jo? What if, somewhere down the line there's another Jen, or Pacey, and it doesn't survive."

"Everything has to die sometime, Jen."

-----  
  
"So, Dawson," Charlie strolled over and sat on a stool beside him, signaling for a beer, "What made you decide to come south for the spring?"

"What made you?" Dawson countered.

"In a word – Joey," Charlie took a sip, "And I have a sneaking suspicion our motives match."

"What if they do?"

"Then I guess we both prepare for battle," he said, quite amiably, "Because make no mistake, my friend, history or no history, I have no intention of giving Joey up without a fight."

"You make it sound like she's a prize."

"But she is. The ultimate prize. How often do you find a girl that gorgeous – that smart – that annoying?"

Dawson chuckled, "Not very," he said, but then he grew serious, "What are your intentions toward her, Charlie?"

"I don't have any," he said, "What will be, will be. For now, its enough to be around her."

"Yeah," Dawson nodded, "I know what you mean."


	5. Farewell

**Chapter 5 - Farewell**

Dawson sat on the balcony rail, just listening to the ocean and watching the beautiful dance of the second moon on the water. Joey found him there. She stood beside him, silent for a long moment.

"Don't you miss the creek sometimes, Jo?" asked Dawson, eventually, "I know that Worthington's your life and its what you've always wanted but... Don't you just miss the creek sometimes?"

"Sometimes," she paused, "Sometimes I miss sitting on your roof, counting the stars on the water."

Dawson sighed, and hung his head, "We can't ever go back, can we?"

She didn't reply and Dawson nodded, as if that was an answer in itself.

"I came down here to tell you something, Jo," he said.

Joey found herself holding her breath, her heart hammering in her chest.

"Yes?"

"I'm leaving Boston," he told her, "For good."

For a second, she was convinced she hadn't heard him right. Leaving Boston? That was impossible. A million thoughts flashed through her mind. A million things to say. And not to say.

"You're leaving Boston?" she asked, he nodded, "But where will you go?"

"New York, probably, maybe LA."

This was unreal, and Joey wasn't sure of her feelings.

"Well, Dawson, if that's what you want..."

"Is it what you want?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Of course I do."

"But you don't want to be with me?"

"What does one have to do with the other?'

"Everything Jo. I can't be in Boston if we're not together. I just can't see you everyday without being able to hold you – It's tearing me apart."

"So unless I agree to, what? Go out with you? If not you just leave, is that it?" he made no reply, "Dawson that is horrendously unfair. How can you force me to make that kind of choice?"

Seething with anger she stormed off.

Dawson looked out over the ocean again, bitterly sad.

"I think you already made your choice, Jo," he whispered.

-----  
  
_"There was this one moment, um... a couple years ago... in this room. I was standing over there by the window, and, uh... and you kissed me. It changed everything. It's a pretty powerful thing when you get your biggest wish in one moment." _

_"I could never hate you, Joey... and not for lack of trying, either." _

_"These past couple of years, it's been one big soap opera. I wouldn't take it back. I wouldn't... take any of it back, but... I'm glad that it's over. 'Coz I like the way things are now. My life being the cruel joke that it is, now that things are so nice... you're leaving." _

_"Jo... if I thought for one second it was the right thing to do, I would stay, but it's time to go. It's time for me to get out of this room, and it's time for you to discover who you are without us. This chapter's over, Jo. I can feel it." _

_The tears started to fall. _

_"Do you believe in magic?" she asked, " I never used to. I mean, how could I? 13, your mom dies. You hope against hope for... for magic, something to make it all better. It never comes, and, you know, you look to your father who's unable to overcome all of his tragic flaws. Well, no abracadabra there. And then there's Pacey. Well... any magic that was there, that ran out, didn't it? But, uh, then there's you. There's proof that someone out there is thinking of me... My friend who was with me always. It's pure magic. I guess this is pretty much just a long-winded way of saying that, um... I'm gonna miss you, Dawson." _

_"I'm gonna miss you, too, Joey." _

_"So what was yours, by the way?" _

_"What was my what?" _

_"Your all-time most life altering moment?" _

_"For all I know, it could be this one right now... saying goodbye to you."_

_-----  
_  
The pale, grey light of dawn was just threatening to pierce the gloom when Audrey made her way downstairs, yawning. There were drums going off in her head, and inwardly she cursed all strip clubs from New York to Phuket as she groped along the wall before finding the kitchen light and flipping it on. She saw Joey sitting at the table, staring out the window.

"Joey? How long have you been sitting here in the dark?"

"Few hours," said Joey, vaguely, "Doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters. Crazy people do that. What's going on?"

Joey sighed and laid her head in her hands. She was unbelievably tired. Over and over she kept asking herself - _"Why this? Why now?"_

"What happened?" Audrey asked again.

"I talked to Dawson."

"I take it the conversation didn't go as desired?"

"He told me he's leaving Boston."

Audrey slumped into a chair, shocked, "What? You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. And that's not even the worst part."

"Oh, God!"

"He laid an ultimatum on me that, either we get back together, or he leaves."

"He did that? Wow!"

"God! That's so unfair," Joey moaned, "I guess I always harboured the hope that we would try again, but not like this, Audrey. He made it my decision, and mine alone."

"I hate to break it to you, Jo. But, it is your decision. Dawson made his."

"When?"

"When he ditched the most important meeting of his life to come and find you. If that's not a clear reflection of intent then I don't know what is."

"Audrey, I just... I just don't want it like this."

"I think you're avoiding the real issue, Joey."

"Which is?"

"Do you want it at all?"

-----  
  
_"Can I tell you something? Even if it has the potential to make you sad? Joey, when I made the decision not to go back to LA... All I could do was daydream about this one thing... Kissing you. I... I was so looking forward to this day when it would finally feel right for you and me to give it another try, you know? For the first time in forever, it seemed so possible. It seemed like it was just around the corner... And then he died. And it just went away. I was living in this fuzzy world of daydreams and I just got yanked right out of it, and I have no idea how to get back there. And what scares me most is that... Maybe I never will." _

_Joey leaned forward and gave him the softest, sweetest kiss. _

_"You'll find your way back. In the meantime... I'll be daydreaming for the both of us."_

_-----  
  
_Dawson walked up to his car, a bag slung over his shoulder. He fumbled around in his pocket for his keys. Then he turned around to take one last look at the house, and saw Pacey making his way toward him, also carrying a bag.

"Hey," said Pacey, "I figured you'd be ducking out about now."

"I'm just an open book to everybody, aren't I?"

"Just to those who know and love you, my friend."

Dawson smiled, "What's with the bag? Going somewhere?"

"With you."

"Umm... No you're not."

"Au contraire, Dawson good buddy, I most certainly am because you, should not be alone right now. And the last time I checked, I was your best friend and it was my prerogative to be there for you during the bad times. I already left my car keys and a note for Audrey."

"Sounds like you had this figured out a while ago."

"I did."

"How'd you know it'd go badly?"

"Experience," said Pacey as the climbed in and Dawson fired up the engine, "So, where are we going?"

Dawson shot him a sardonic smile.

"Capeside."

"I should have known."


	6. Story

**Chapter 6 - Story  
  
**Audrey sat on her bed as she read Pacey's note, and couldn't help but smile. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" she called.

Joey opened the door and stepped inside.

"Have you spoken to Dawson?" she asked, "His car's gone and nobody seems to know where he is."

"I don't know where he is, but I know who he's with," Audrey waved the note.

"What's that?"

"Its from Pacey," she told her, "Says that he figured Dawson would bail and he's going to keep him company. He left us his car so I guess they're going for a pretty long ride."

Joey grunted and tugged at her hair, "This is turning into such a disaster!" She took a few deep breaths, then faced Audrey again, "Does it say where they're going?"

"No."

"Okay," she sighed, "I guess I'll go pack."

"Yeah, me too."

Joey turned to leave, but Audrey called her back.

"Joey! Don't worry; Dawson will come back to you. You know it'll happen."

Joey didn't even turn around; she just headed out the door to the stairs. She was still a bit dazed as she went down. Charlie was waiting for her at the bottom. She stopped short, and they just looked at each other.

"So," Charlie began, "Were you planning on talking to me anytime today?"

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I really did want to talk to you, but..."

"I know. Dawson."

"Yeah."

"Come on," he reached for her hand.

"Where are we going?'

"For a walk," he said, "We need to figure this thing out."

-----  
  
Jack, Jen, and Oliver were all somewhat slumped at the table, nursing cups of coffee as if it were salvation. Jen looked around at the others, noting they shared the same tired expression, the bags under the eyes.

It seemed to her that all they ever got was drama, she was willing to bet there weren't many groups who went through the things they did.

"Why does every period of time we spend together feel like it should fit between opening and closing credits?" she asked.

"Just blessed with exciting lives I guess," said Jack.

"Blessed?"

"Blessed... Cursed... Whatever."

She turned her attention to Oliver, who seemed a little upset for some reason.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"He ditched me," moaned Oliver, "The dude just ditched me. I'm his partner, and he just up and left."

Jen giggled, "Well, from what I understood, it was you got him to come down here in the first place so you'll just have to deal with the consequences."

Oliver suddenly grinned, "Well, I guess if the consequence is a ride back to Boston with you, then I guess I could survive."

"Ugh..." said Jen.

-----  
  
Charlie and Joey took a slow walk down the beach. At first, they didn't say anything, and Joey was miles away, barely noticing anything around her. Finally, Charlie stopped.

"I want you to tell me the story," he said.

She frowned, "What story?"

"The story," he said, again, "Of you and Dawson."

"Charlie, why..."

"Uh," he interrupted her, "Because, like it or not, this week's episode of Felicity affects me too. Now, I'll admit I was torn about whether or not to ask you this but I think I should at least understand what it is I'm getting caught up in here."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Yes it is," he persisted, "Because I need to figure out if I got forever or not."

Joey sat down cross-legged on the sand and he sat next to her.

She bent her head, and, in a whisper, told their story...

-----  
  
_"Third grade... Dawson was there when I broke my arm jumping off Peter Masik's backyard swing... He was there the night I came home early from Lake Emendal because I was homesick... And he was there the day I had to wear that horrible training bra for the first time... And... And the day my mom passed away... He was the first one to come through the door, and he sat with me the whole day, and he never once asked how I was doing because he, unlike everyone else, knew me well enough to know that there were no words to describe how I was doing."_

_-----  
  
_Charlie was silent for a long, long time.

He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms about himself, much like a child. His gaze was trapped on a point just above the horison.

Joey just watched him, inwardly terrified. What were her feelings for him? He was funny. He actually had a sensitive side, much to her surprise. That he was drop-dead gorgeous went without saying. Yesterday, when she'd kissed him, it had all been so simple. Charlie Todd would be her first fling.

Today was different. Today she had to decide if she could give up her soulmate for him.

Charlie's prolonged silence was getting to her.

"Well?" she asked, "Don't you have anything to say? Comment? Musing?"

"Wow!" he said.

"Wow?" she pulled a face, "That's it? Wow?"

"Wow!" he said again, "Its amazing how someone can have such an effect on you."

"Well, Dawson and I..."

"I wasn't talking about you and Dawson," he said, "I was talking about us."

"Us?"

"I've known you no time at all, Joey, and already you make me want to be a better man."

"Isn't that Jack Nicholson's line?"

"It's appropriate," he turned to face her, and she was shocked at how serious he was, "Its appropriate because its true. Last night, I told Dawson I was gonna fight for you, that you were the ultimate prize. And you are Jo, you most definitely are. But I'm not gonna do that."

"You're not?"

"No. Because keeping you and Dawson apart would be both selfish and amoral, two vices I have immense experience with, believe me. But this time... this time I'm going to do the right thing and tell you to go after him."

"Charlie, I..."

He put a finger to her lips, stopping her.

"Please Joey, I need to say this," he sighed, and caressed her face.

He seemed so sad.

"I believed," he began, "No, I believe, that I could make you so happy, Joey Potter. That you could do the same for me. But I can't give you what he can. I can never be that guy for you. I know that now. He can promise you forever, Jo."

Joey looked away. She started to cry.

"Do you know where he is?" he asked.

She nodded.

"He went back," she said, "To the one place he can let go of us."


	7. Journey

**Chapter 7 - Journey  
  
**"Where in the hell are you going?"

Audrey and Jen planted themselves in front of Joey as she came out of her room with her bag. Joey set it down and faced them.

"I'm going after Dawson."

"Oh, you figured out where he is?" asked Audrey.

Joey nodded.

"Well, then I guess I'd better finish packing if we're leaving right this minute."

"I don't need a ride," said Joey.

"Well how are you going to get there?" asked Jen.

At that moment Charlie appeared at the top of the stairs.

"I'm all set," he told Joey, "I'll be downstairs when you're ready."

Joey nodded and he went back down.

"Charlie's taking you?"

"Yes," said Joey, "He is. We talked about it... It was actually his idea that I go."

"Whoah!" Jen put up her hands, "Let me get this straight. I date the guy and he turns out to be a conniving, manipulative son of a bitch who tries to talk me into a threesome with the girl he cheated on me with... You hook up with him for one day and suddenly he's Prince Charming on a selfless quest to help you fulfill your romantic destiny?"

Joey had no answer.

"God, that's depressing..." Jen muttered.

Audrey giggled, but grew serious again when she regarded Joey.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I'm sure," she said, "As much fun as I've had this year. As much as I've enjoyed meeting new people and seeing new things, it... It always comes back to Dawson. Always. I want him to be a part of my life. I want him to be there for every new and exciting thing that happens to me," she paused, "Maybe then we'll have a chance to build something great. Get everything we've ever wanted."

-----  
  
"Did you love Capeside, Dawson?" asked Pacey, "I mean, did you truly love growing up there?"

Dawson removed his eyes from the road for a second to look at Pacey. He frowned, wondering where this was going.

"I guess," he said, hesitant, "Our own leafy little hamlet complete with white picket fences and a creek, what's not to love?"

"I hated it there, growing up," Pacey told him, "I was like Joey, I saw it as a prison. Of all of us you were the only one who refused to believe it wasn't perfect," he smiled, grimly, "Its only now I've seen everywhere else that I realise how much I miss it."

"What brings on this bout of melancholy?" asked Dawson, "Shouldn't I be the one reveling in the depths of sadness and regret?"

Pacey shrugged, "I don't know, man, its just, sometimes I feel I missed out. I spent so much time dreaming about getting out, I forgot to enjoy the place while I was there."

He sighed and looked out the window at the Massachusetts coastline drifting slowly by. Then he spoke again.

"You, on the other hand, reveled in it. You got your perfect childhood. You even got your soulmate."

At the mention of Joey, Dawson's expression hardened.

"Yeah, and look where it got me," he said, "I made a completely irrational decision to alter the future that I'd had mapped out throughout that perfect childhood, and now I find myself adrift on a sea of uncertainty."

"But you had it, Dawson."

They were silent for a while, then:

"Do you think I'm making the right decision?" asked Dawson.

"What? Leaving Boston?"

"Yeah."

"I really can't say. I agree that if you stick around then somewhere along the line this is bound to happen again."

"Right," Dawson nodded, "So by leaving Boston I'm decreasing the chances of getting my heart broken. Therefore, I'm making the right choice."

"Not necessarily."

"What do you mean?"

"You're also eliminating any chance you have of getting it right."

Dawson didn't respond, he just took the exit for Capeside.

-----  
  
_Joey stormed off. Her father just sat at the table with Dawson, stunned. Dawson got up to go after her, but Mr. Potter called him back. _

_"Dawson wait! Please. Tell me about her. Tell me about my daughter." _

_"What do you want to know?" _

_"Anything. Everything." _

_"She's great," he said, "I mean, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's funny. She's a big ol' scaredy cat. If you creep up from behind her she'll jump out of her skin, its, pretty amusing. She's honest. She always calls 'em just like she sees 'em. You can always count on getting the truth from Joey. Even if the truth hurts. She's stubborn. We fight a lot. She can be so frustrating sometimes. But she's a really, really good friend. I know her to a fault. She believes in me. And I'm a dreamer so its really good to have someone like that in my life. If she goes away, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I mean, she's my best friend. She's more than that. She's everything..."_

_-----  
_  
Joey hugged Charlie tight and rested her head on his back as his motorcycle tore up the highway.

Her mind was racing, oblivious to the landscape zipping by.

Was she really sure about this?

Could she and Dawson really make it work?

It seemed like everytime they tried they just set themselves up for a bigger fall. She just couldn't shake the uncertainty.

Was it really worth it?

-----  
  
_Mr. Potter felt tears building in his eyes as he looked at his daughter. She stood on the other side of the fence, looking so fragile, so defenseless. _

_"Dawson Leery," he said, "He loves you Joey. He's never told you?" _

_"Never," she whispered. _

_"Well he does. I know it." _

_"How?" _

_"Because he looks at you the same way your mother used to look at me. And you love him?" _

_She cast her eyes downward, unable to voice it. _

_"Have you told him," asked her father, "You have to tell him, Joey. Don't make my mistake. Don't wait until the one you love is eaten with cancer, and wasting away, while you hold back the one thing they're waiting to hear." _


	8. Home

**Chapter 8 - Home  
  
**Dawson and Pacey sat at the end of the pier on the Leery property, their feet dangling over the edge. The sun was setting, turning the banks of the creek to gold as a soft breeze eased by.

"He never would've caught us, if you didn't bail and decide to surrender," Pacey was saying.

Dawson chuckled, "Of course he would've caught us. Your choice of transportation for the getaway wasn't exactly the most brilliant plan ever conceived."

"It could've worked, man!"

"Pace, Principal Green's car would've caught our bikes if it was out of gas, had a flat and the spark plugs exploded."

"Okay, granted," said Pacey, then he grinned, "The look on his face was worth it, though."

"I can't believe you convinced me that gluing his golf clubs together was a good idea."

"Ah," Pacey wagged a finger at him, "No, no, no. That little detour down the road of adolescent hi-jinx was your idea. Not mine."

"Give me a break."

"Oh yes it was. Remember? Joey flipped out when you came up with it 'coz she thought I was rubbing off on you. Seriously, Dawson, you have severely limited powers of retrospect when it comes to the times you screwed up."

"As opposed to you bronzing and mounting your more disastrous escapades?"

"Ah, but you see, my escapades are so riddled with class and ingenuity that they deserve nothing less."

"True, Pace," Dawson admitted, "Nobody caused havoc in grander fashion than you."

They sat and watched the sunset for a bit, getting lost in the maze of colour on the creek.

"Dawson, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For Joey and I."

"Look, Pace..."

"No, don't get me wrong. I don't regret it. Not for a second. That girl was a true ray of light in my life. But I do regret those months we lost as friends. And I regret that my happiness may have cost you yours."

Dawson shook his head and slung his arm across Pacey's shoulder. After a time, Pacey stood.

"Let's head over to the Potter B&B for some food," he suggested.

"Yeah, sure," said Dawson, "Just let me get some cash."

Pacey headed out front to the car as Dawson climbed the ladder to his bedroom.

-----  
  
Charlie brought the bike to a stop outside Dawson's house. He gunned the revs a couple of times, then killed the engine. Joey swung her leg over and got off.

She and Charlie stared at each other. He threw her a lopsided smile, and Joey cracked. With waves of tears streaming down her face, she threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely.

"Thank you, so much," she sobbed.

"Hey," he pushed her away and, with gentle hands, wiped her tears, "Don't thank me. Ever. This is a small repayment for the gift you gave me, Joey Potter. I mean, who knows? With a little work, a little time, I might actually be able to look at myself in the mirror with pride someday."

Joey gave him a kiss, "I think that day's already upon us, Charlie Todd."

He grinned and looked away. Pacey came out front and waved.

"Hey!" he called, "Took you guys long enough."

"It's a bike," said Charlie, "Not a jet."

Pacey grinned, "Don't take this the wrong way man," he said, "But I'm more than a little surprised to see you here."

"I'm a little surprised myself."

Pacey turned to Joey, "Dawson's upstairs," he said.

"Thanks."

"So," said Charlie, "Feel like giving me the full Capeside tour?"

"It'd be my pleasure."

-----  
  
Joey stood frozen at the foot of the ladder. She could still remember the day Dawson's dad had put it up.

-----  
  
_"Listen, Joey. I don't want you climbing up the terrace anymore, ok?" said Mitch, "Its dangerous. You could hurt yourself, and if that happened, I don't think my son would ever forgive me." _

_"Yeah. Right." _

_"Sooner or later, Joey, he's gonna pull his head out of the sand. He'll figure it out. Probably not as soon as you like, boys are stupid like that."_

_-----  
_  
She drew in a long, slow breath and started climbing. She reached the top and slipped through the open window, like so many times before.

Dawson wasn't there and she just stood there a moment, unsure. She glanced around the room, remembering the nights she'd spent here.

Her entire childhood seemed encased within these walls.

-----  
  
_"I just don't think it's a good idea to sleep over anymore." _

_"Come on, you've been sleeping over since you were seven." _

_"I just think our raging hormones are destined to alter our relationship and I'm trying to limit the fallout." _

_"We can still remain friends despite any mounting sexual theoretics." _

_"Things change, Dawson. Evolve." _


	9. Moment

**Chapter 9 - Moment  
  
**The door opened and he stepped inside.

He froze when he saw her.

"Hi," said Joey, forcing a smile, "Wanna watch a movie?"

He closed the door without returning the smile.

"What are you doing here, Jo?"

She sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear, a clear sign that she was nervous.

"I don't know, Dawson," she said, "I honestly don't know. On the way here, it was all I could think about. This moment. And I thought I had it figured out, I really did, but..." she felt the tears come again, "But, but standing here, and looking at you... The moment's just too much."

"Its always gonna be too much Jo," he said, and there was only sadness in his voice, "Everytime. We've blown this, this thing into such operatic proportions that we can't even see why we fell in love in the first place."

"I can still see it," she whispered, "I can still see you. The boy you were is still there," she gave a little giggle at this, "The dreamer. The stargazer. He's still there, Dawson, that little boy I fell in love with a lifetime ago, and that's what scares me. Every time I'm with you its like I'm a little girl again, and I haven't left Capeside, I haven't found my dream and the only thing I have to cling to is you, and that scares me so much."

"Then just cling to me, Joey," he pleaded, "Your dreams are there, we can find them all together, you know we can, but... But let me be the one beside you when you do. Because, all our lives we've shared our dreams. Your hopes belong to me as much as my own, and what scares me is that they won't be worth anything if you're not there to see them happen," he paused, collecting himself, then he looked at her, "Its simple, Joey. Just one question. Do you love me?"

She gave a soft smile through the tears.

"With all the pieces of my heart," she said.

He didn't say another word. He just looked at her, before slowly raising his hand. She frowned, but took his hand.

He led her over to the window, and they climbed out onto the roof. Dawson sat down and patted the spot beside him. Joey sat.

They looked out over the creek, winding its way along below them. The night was clear and the stars were so many diamonds on the water.

Dawson's breathing was heavy, and he leaned over and kissed her.

To Dawson, it was like a rainbow exploding behind his eyes, and for a second he lost himself in the light. All the doubt, the fear – it just melted away.

He was with Joey, and it was right. She'd made her choice, and it was him.

For Joey, it was different.

It was as if all this time, she'd been looking at the world through opaque glass, that at long last had been wiped clear.

She knew now that she no longer needed to find happiness in strange places or new people. Dawson was it. The only one to soothe her soul.

In that one moment, she knew that what she'd been looking for, had been there all along.

They broke apart, but didn't pull back. Their eyes held each other in orbit, and each could see their soul reflected there.

Because, this was love.

And it was real.

He smiled at her, a boyish grin.

She smiled back.

He turned his gaze back to the creek.

Then he pointed, and started counting the stars.

"One..." said Dawson.

"Two..." said Joey.

"Three... Four... Five..."

-----  
  
_"So, we were friends, and then we were a couple. And then friends again, and then we were a couple." _

_"So?" _

_"So what are we now?" _

_"Dawson and Joey." _

_"Do you think every Joey has a Dawson, and every Dawson has a Joey?" _

_"I hope so... For their sake..."_

__

_fin_


End file.
